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Adoption is gaining a family. It's knowing that this child and their parents are going to be a part of your life. It's that connection that we all grow and have together. It's that relationship that's important.
For Oakley, choosing adoption was predestined. As she recounts the story of their adoption journey, it is clear to her that everything was meant to be. Every hardship, every moment of feeling overwhelmed, every instance of pain – all were a part of a complicated, yet beautiful, course of fate.
From the moment Oakley and her husband became aware of her pregnancy, there occurred an immediate recognition that parenthood was not the right path forward. Oakley and Kyle had always known that they did not desire children and, upon acknowledging they were not in the right position mentally nor financially, they had decided that placing their child for adoption would provide their daughter with the best possible chance at life. Together, Oakley and Kyle have experienced the challenges of being unhoused , food insecurity, and a lack of support from those around them. It was unquestionable; they did not want their child to go through what they had to. As is the case with many birthparents, they wanted their daughter to have what they didn’t have as they grew up; a life defined by unconditional support and more opportunity. To that end, adoption appeared to be the natural path forward.
As is the case with many birthparents, they wanted their daughter to have what they didn’t have as they grew up; a life defined by unconditional support and more opportunity.
Oakley and Kyle excitedly met with their first social worker early on in the pregnancy. Although they started the process quite soon relative to other birth parents, their conviction that this was the right choice only grew stronger as time went on and as they became further enveloped in the open adoption journey. After reading through countless family files and home study reports, Oakley and Kyle had settled upon a potential adoptive family they wanted to connect with. Upon meeting them in person, the love was immediate. There was an instant and undeniable understanding that Rose – Oakley and Kyle’s daughter – belonged to this couple. From that moment, Oakley felt that this journey was more akin to a surrogacy than to an adoption. As a result, her pregnancy became imbued with a deep sense of purpose and the connection between herself and the adoptive parents grew ever stronger.
Ten months following Oakley’s thirty-six hour delivery (during which the adoptive family never left her side), everyone involved in Rose’s adoption process is thriving. Oakley, Kyle, Rose and [her new parents] the adoptive family meet multiple times a month and enjoy a form of closeness that can only be described by the word ‘family.’ As a result of a cultural narrative that often paints adoption as a process defined solely by grief, failure, and fear, many individuals hold the belief that adoption creates families at the cost of ending others. This conception couldn’t be further from the truth. In her experience, Oakley came to a profound conclusion;: adoption is not losing a child, it is gaining a family. In fact, the degree of support, love, and togetherness that Oakley experienced throughout and following the adoption process is more than she has ever known.
Kyle, Oakley and the adoptive parents have been woven together into a constellation that is underpinned by the deepest of love and care for Rose and each of them look forward to a future that nurtures Rose’s interests, talents, and personhood. It is important to note that adoption looks different for everyone. For some, it is highly complex and paradoxical;, for others, it may be more straightforward. Regardless, in the case of Oakley and Kyle, it is apparent that adoption means more family, more kindness, and – importantly – more love.
Kyle, Oakley and the adoptive parents have been woven together into a constellation that is underpinned by the deepest of love and care for Rose...
We are looking for Birth Parents to share their stories and help educate Albertans on the impact of adoption.
