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Twenty-three years ago at the age of fourteen, Tina encountered the complexities of adoption when she became pregnant in her junior year of high school.
As is the case with many birthparents, they wanted their daughter to have what they didn’t have as they grew up.
Choosing adoption was the best decision she has ever made though it wasn’t an easy one. It was a choice that came packaged with hope and aspiration for her birth son.
He may be thousands of miles away, but her birth son is a part of every minute of her life, which at times is difficult and at others is amazing.
The connection was so strong between them that, to this day, the five of them meet once a month to connect with and be present for Rose as she grows.
Adoption is many things to many people. It can be beautiful, heart-breaking, joyful, and challenging all at once. Although complex, intricate and made up of many moving parts that sometimes seem paradoxical, adoption is never shamed based. Placing a child for adoption is not “giving up.” It is not a failure. It is not rooted in weakness. On the contrary, placing a child for adoption is a decision made out of a profound love and realization that the best decision is not taking the path toward a typical family journey. Instead, the journey of adoption is defined by the strength, courage, and willingness to experience the hardship of closing some doors in order to open others.
Adoption does not lead to “less” of something. It ultimately leads to more: more happiness, more health, more opportunity, more family and more love. While many people believe that placing a child equates to a goodbye, pursuing an open adoption often means the opposite. It is a bittersweet “hello” to a future filled with more.
In open adoption birthparents are in control of the adoption planning through a licensed adoption agency and choose the adoptive parents. The birth and adoptive families are able to develop and nurture a relationship and maintain a connection that is right for them. The degree of communication is completely up to the birthparents, who are empowered to set the framework for what their connection with their child’s adopted family looks like. From occasional emails or video calls to regular in-person visits, the open adoption process provides flexibility and accommodation to all kinds of comfort-levels.
As open adoption becomes more common, a growing body of research shows that individuals who are placed through open adoption experience better mental health outcomes and emotional well-being than their closed or semi-closed counterparts. In the long-run, open adoption allows adoptees to embrace their roots and have a solid understanding of who they are as they traverse the adventures of growing-up.
The reasons why an adoptive family may choose to adopt a child are varied and can be coloured by many emotions including grief, excitement, optimism, and hope for a more complete future. In choosing to adopt a child, adoptive families embark on a path with many complicated twists and turns. Ultimately, this path leads them to a place filled with more family, more opportunity, and – importantly – more love.
If you are in need of support as you are facing an unplanned pregnancy or are parenting and considering other options for your child all of Alberta’s licensed agencies offer free counselling and are ready to listen and help you navigate your unique situation.
In Alberta, there are three private licensed adoption agencies who can counsel you on your options and support you through the process. There is no judgment and no pressure, always keeping you and your child’s best interest in mind. Should you decide to place your child for adoption, you are able to select the adoptive family and establish an open relationship with them and your child throughout that child’s lifetime.
In Alberta, guardians are able to make an adoption plan for a direct placement with a relative, step parent, or individuals that are known to them. Please be aware that no third party (other than a licensed adoption agency) may make introductions or facilitate a private direct placement. In a private direct, the individuals involved may file their own court paperwork, or they may use the help of an adoption agency to complete the paperwork and receive counseling.
Yes, as long as you are the legal guardians (with paperwork), then you are able to consider an adoption plan for those children.
We are looking for Birth Parents to share their stories and help educate Albertans on the impact of adoption.
