It is frequently the case that choosing that which is right means choosing that which is challenging. In the instance of adoption, where a birth mother chooses the love for her child over all else, this could not be more true. As Serena can attest to, choosing adoption was the best decision she has ever made though it wasn’t an easy one. It was a choice that came packaged with hope and aspiration for her birth son but also with a deep experience of grief. In many ways, the process of placing a child for open adoption is a complete roller coaster. It has twists and turns, peaks and valleys, all of which evolve and change throughout time.

 For Serena, this rollercoaster ride began when she was nineteen years old. Being young and having just started her adult life as a waitress in a small town, Serena recounts the revelation of her unplanned pregnancy as a scary and profoundly shocking one. She didn’t know what to do or where to turn. To Serena’s surprise, a coworker courageously revealed that she herself was a birthmother and had placed her birth child through open adoption. Upon learning that adoption needn’t be what is traditionally conveyed in the media, that birth mothers can choose adoptive parents and can stay connected to their birth children, Serena was blown away. In this lies a poignant point about our culture’s attitude toward adoption. Often, the idea of adoption is marred by negative stereotypes and is consequently viewed in a shameful light. Birth mothers are conceived as being selfish or “unfit” and are told that they will be unable to ever see their birth children again. In turn, our culture tells us that adopted persons are denied access to their story and must come to terms with never knowing where they come from or why they were placed for adoption. These common misconceptions are pervasive and serve to stigmatize birth mothers and isolate adopted persons. Ultimately, such prejudices against adoption prevent the occurrence of meaningful discourses that empower women, birth mothers, adoptive families, and individuals placed for adoption. It is therefore incredibly important to be open and honest when discussing the intricacies of adoption. It may seem like a small step, but facilitating meaningful conversations is a sure way to raise awareness and erase the stigma surrounding the adoption process. This is evidenced by Serena, who following her conversation with her coworker, was empowered to look up an open adoption agency in the yellow pages, walk through their doors and speak with a social worker. Serena describes their conversation as being a beautiful one; one that strengthened her conviction that open adoption was the perfect path forward for her.